After years of coaching individuals, I noticed something remarkable. The more confident my clients grew from their coaching, the more empowered their decision making was, and the happier they felt. Many aspects of their life improved as a result, mostly their relationship to themselves and others. This had me appreciate the importance self-esteem plays in living out one’s full potential throughout their growth journey. Below I share 5 life coaching tips that will transform your relationship to yourself, and ultimately your life.
1. Your self-esteem is at the center of your life
Your level of self-esteem is a measure of how good you feel about yourself in general. One exercise I have my coaching clients do as a start is to provide me with a number from zero to ten, ten being the highest score, that reflects their level of self-esteem. We then explore what their score means to them, how their score is impacted by life events, and the nature of these events for better or worse. The more consistent your level of self-esteem is under varying life circumstances, the more centered you will feel. A centered and calm mind makes better decisions; decisions that are focused and proactive in moving forward towards an inspiring work and life vision. The very ability to resiliently move through life like this can be gratifying and fulfilling.
2. Get to the essence of your self-esteem
What can anchor your self-esteem is a heightened awareness of your own strengths, passions, innate gifts and purpose. Essentially, these put together are what your personal brand or your essence is about. If you are having trouble coming up with a short list of strengths, passions, innate gifts and your purpose, here are some things you can do to help you clarify what those are:
Ask someone who knows you well to share what they have observed in you constructively.
Make a list of the people you admire in your life, and what exactly you admire about them? How many of their strengths, passions, innate gifts and purpose do you share with them?
Which of the strengths, passions, and innate gifts identified above do you want to further develop, and how?
How can you express your strengths, passions and innate gifts meaningfully in your work or life?
3. Cultivate your essence on your growth journey
As you experience life, you may further develop or gain more strengths, embrace new passions, better recognize some of your dormant innate gifts and revise your life purpose. Every stage of life offers an opportunity to further cultivate your personal brand or refine your essence. The key is to be mindful; mindful of your progress, your purposeful vision and the values you want to live by. Your life purpose can be expressed in your career, personal life and/or community service.
A clear work and life vision has the power to inspire you, pull you in the right direction, and mobilize you to take the many little steps to get there. The ways to get to your destination include envisioning it, believing in yourself, and being prepared to course correct as you receive new information about yourself and your environment. Every moment is a learning opportunity that will help you grow and strive to live a better life. Your mindset can make all the difference on your growth journey. The more open you are to growing from your experiences, mistakes and all, the more creative and resilient you will become in problem solving in your work and life. This builds confidence and trust in yourself.
4. Move out of your own way
This all sounds a lot easier than it is. There have been many deep dives I’ve been on with coaching clients to release the mental and emotional blocks that are getting in their way. One way to identify your mental and emotional blocks is to begin journaling about the times you have held yourself back or felt unhappy. As we do in coaching, you can answer some powerful questions for yourself, such as:
What were the circumstances in which I held myself back?
How did I interpret the situation?
What did I make it mean about myself?
How did I talk to myself about it?
What did I really want?
What would I need to do differently next time?
By answering these open ended and powerful life coaching questions, you can uncover the underlying self-limiting beliefs that are driving the same results you want to change in your life. Getting to the underlying self-limiting beliefs is essential to break the patterns that are holding you back. Then, it is a matter of reinforcing new and healthier beliefs through repeated positive experiences and habits; kind of like experiencing a positive affirmation for real over and over again.
5. Take positive action
While coaching isn’t psychotherapy, healing can be an outcome of it. With healing comes a renewed and optimistic outlook. To maintain this positivity and momentum, it is important to immerse yourself in or co-create a supportive community. For many, one-on-one coaching, and coaching circles provide them with the support they need to keep moving forward while holding themselves accountable. For others, a good self-help book, such as my published book, LITE Up Your Work and Life, and a coaching buddy works. Choose the resources that work best for your growth journey. Once you discover, acknowledge and cultivate your essence, you will realize that it can be expressed in every moment of your life.
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